Drunken Shopping Cart Shitshows

"I swear drunk, I'm not officer!"

“Few friends and I go to our friend’s 21st birthday last night in RENO. We started off at her house taking your standard shots and drinking beer, which of course lead to shot-gunning multiple beers and taking more shots. This was the encouragement we needed to head to the casinos.

We get there and start raging on the dance floor to some random shitty band, standard shit. My other 2 friends and I break off from the party group to do our own thing. Things start off with me loosing ALL of my money to Terry the BlackJack Dealer, where I proceed to yell at her and call her a “Shitty Dealer,” and now I was broke for the rest of the night.

Its about 2am so we decide to head to the strip club because my friend wants to buy us all lap dances. We get there, it seems closed. Instead of leaving, I reach my hand under the door and pull it open, and we casually stroll into the strip club unannounced. Luckily there were a few people in there and of course, STRIPPERS! So I get a lapdance from some stripper (it was aight), and she goes down on me by putting her lips on my dick THROUGH my pants, and starts humming. Haha so I’m like laughing at this and ask her “what the fuck are you doing” and even though it felt pretty good I enjoyed the laugh more. She felt pretty dumb I guess and asks me for $20, which I reject and tell her I only had $3. We proceed to leave the strip club after this lol.

We then headed to an AMAZING burger joint in Reno, and used an old receipt in my friends pocket to claim one of the burgers like we payed for it. We stole the burg, and grubbed it hardd in the alley-way. We then come to realize NO ONE has ANY MONEY, and the house we were stayin’ at was 10 MILES AWAY! Anyways we decided to walk…

The first part of our walk, we hit up the local frat houses, and bang on their doors being drunk idiots. We proceed to hop their fence and spray paint “Frat Fags” on their fence of the house. We steal a bike after doing so, and realize it had one wheel still locked. Nonetheless we ditch the bike over some fence down the street. About 3 outtta 10 miles and an hour through the walk we find a Raley’s and steal a shopping cart. We use the cart to switch off pushing each other because we are SO fucking tired at this point.

Finally 5am rolls around, and a paper boy rolls up in his car and offers us either a newspaper or beers. OF COURSE WE TOOK THE BEERS!  This was crucial as we were all wasted and tired. We continue to drink the beers and push each other in the shopping cart another 5 MILES and 2 hours later we arrive at home at 7AM. 10 miles total, 4 hours of walking, no money, strippers, stealing burgers, spray paint and drunk paper boys; HELLA RECKLESS!”


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This is a page to post about the things you do, see, or hear that you can only described as Hella Reckless.

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