“So hungover friday morning I puked on campus. Again. Except this time I didn’t exactly make it to a bathroom. Hella Reckless… Hella Embarrassing!”
Monthly Archives: January 2012
“Blacked out Thursday night by drinking a bag of red wine and another bag of white wine, between 5 people. Couldn’t find the house we were staying at and passed out in the car at 5am (the house ended up only being a few blocks away…) Woke up at 10am with my two buddies in the car feeling like absolute shit, and we notice a parking ticket on the windshield. We got a parking ticket that morning at the time said it was given to us at 7:56am, which was while me and my two buddies were straight piss drunk passed out with hot cheetos everywhere. Hella Reckless; Hella Awkward.”
“Got shitty drunk off of whole bottles whiskey and vodka and punched a good friend in the face knocking his tooth out. Yeah, he has a gun and I am lucky he didn’t have it at the time. Hella Reckless”
“Started drinking at 4pm. We bought three 30 racks for 10 people, which seemed like the right number to start. We went to sushi and the table shared 4 large bottles of Sake (The bill was almost $300)! I left a $50 tip not knowing that one guy who was blacked out already left a $100 tip. I ended up running out of the Sushi restaurant with a stolen bottle of Sake.
We then proceeded to ghost ride the car through the backyard into the front yard, while a kid on crutches knocked over the trash can and proceeded to pass out in the living room (shoes on of course, big mistake). Another guy passes out on a couch and we covered him in shaving cream and set off fireworks next to him in beer cans. Continued to play drinking games till 2am then I made a nest of towels in a bathtub to sleep in. Woke up and made breakfast burritos for everyone. Hella Reckless!
Oh Yeah, forgot to add that I was challenged to a wrestling match and pinned the guy three times! Guy getting owned by me (female) 3 times, Hella Reckless!”
“We were harassing Dialon, the Indian cab driver asking him if we could rob a gas station and he’d be the getaway car.”
“Last night we wanted to have the best New Years ever. Our plan: get drunk and fuck chicks.
We started off with 2 thirty packs and an 18 pack for probably about 8 to 9 brosifs. We play chandeliers until we destroy all of it, then we call the cab to hit the bars. On the cab ride over we were harassing Dialon, the Indian cab driver asking him if we could rob a gas station and he be the getaway car driver. He refused so we continued to the bars.
Start drinking Irish car bombs, get pretty hammed, and decide the girls were not up to par. Go to the next bar and continue drinking, when all of a sudden this big ass dude taps me on the shoulder and says “Hey I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t dance with my sister,” who ended up being hot so of course I abided.
This girl tells me she is 24 and has 2 kids, hoping it won’t ruin it for me. I don’t care, and her brother drags us into a cab and tells me “we’re getting a hotel room”. We get in the cab and I start hookin’ up with her in the backseat and we get to the next bar where her brother meets up with a bunch of his MARINE buddies. I got scared at first cause he was a marine, but they were chill. The marine brother proceeds to meet some BOMB ass milf in her early 30’s and starts hookin’ up with her, and tells me we’re all going to their house.
We drive over to the house, and what do ya know, its 5 houses down from mine!!! Perfect! We start raging face, getting fucked up and shit, and it turns out the milf the marine brother was with is 45!! I was like, “You are too hot, rage too hard, and have way too nice of tits to be 45!” Anyways, her friend and some dude start bonin’ in the kitchen, and the marine carries this milf upstairs. I proceed to hook up with his sister, the 24 year old mom. She goes and asks her marine brother for a condom, and he gives us two.
After a long night of accomplishing my mission I wake up to her brother giving me a high five hand shake and slips me another condom. Of course I did the deed, and walked home 5 houses down. HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ME! HELLA RECKLESS!
“As any newly 21 year old would do, I took a trip to Vegas to party, party, party. As I arrive at the Oakland airport to begin my journey, some heinous bitch starts telling me to pull up my shirt, and that Jesus will give me more blessings than I can ever give myself. I told her you are preaching to the wrong choir lady, fuck off I’m going to Vegas.
Arrive in Vegas at 8am, and the first thing I see is a pair of spandex Vegas panties. Naturally, I purchase them. Hella Reckless. Later that day we decide to go to Dick’s Last Resort on the strip, and we end up staying there for 4 hours. During our stay there, I do 3 blowjob shots off a Spanish Mexican hottie, Watch two 60 year old British cougars flash a bar tender for free drinks, and get drinks bought for us by said cougars. Hella Reckless.
Although we were disappointed that the Thunder Down Under male strip club was a no-go that night, we ended up having a great time at the Playboy club at the Palms. I walk of shamed-it down the strip wearing sparkly heels and “finally 21″ sash. Had 2 different groups of people ask to take a picture with me. Had a few other people sneak a paparazzi photo of me. Now that’s what you call embarrassing, however, Hella Reckless! To add to the whole experience, I then witnessed someone projetile vomit, out of their nose! Hella Reckless!!! Currently drinking cocktails at the Vegas airport by myself reminiscing on my trip, it was successful to say the least.”
What happens in Vegas stays on Hella Reckless
“During my senior year of high school my friends and I decided to go on the SWAT snowboarding trip to make some memories before we left for college. Needless to say, the trip got reckless.
On the first night, after we had returned from the concert that was put on for us, we decided to do a little afterpartying in the hotel and try and find some girls to hook up with. As the night was nearing an end and everyone was leaving with a partner, I followed suit and left with my lady of the night back to her room. I’ll leave the details to your imagination, but we were having quite a fun time and completely forgot that, because this was a high school trip, we had a room check to make sure everyone was back in their room at the correct time. Fuck.
Although my brain forgot about the curfew, my dick somehow remembered. As I was finishing, the lights came on and a large, scary looking woman dressed in a rent-a-cop outfit entered the room to do the room check. This was unfortunate in many ways, but the worst part was having a stare down with a large black woman as I was climaxing. After I did the deed and realized the extent of the situation, I jumped out of bed, threw my clothes on and sprinted out of the hotel room and into my friend’s room, who had luckily already received their room check. To my delight, they were smoking a blunt on the balcony and were more than happy to have me join after I told them my story.
After the blunt was finished, I figured it was time to go back to my room and pass the fuck out. However, if I stepped back in the hallway, I would be fucked because it was past the curfew and they could technically detain me or kick me off the trip. So, one of my friends suggested that since my room was only two doors down, I should just scale the balconies back to my room. At the time, I thought this was a great idea, so I stepped outside and scaled two 4th floor balconies back to my room.
I entered the room to a million questions about where the fuck I’d been and what I’d been doing. Naturally, I just smiled and reached in my pants, took the condom off (finally) and said ‘bro, you don’t even understand.’ Hella Reckless”