“Last night we wanted to have the best New Years ever. Our plan: get drunk and fuck chicks.
We started off with 2 thirty packs and an 18 pack for probably about 8 to 9 brosifs. We play chandeliers until we destroy all of it, then we call the cab to hit the bars. On the cab ride over we were harassing Dialon, the Indian cab driver asking him if we could rob a gas station and he be the getaway car driver. He refused so we continued to the bars.
Start drinking Irish car bombs, get pretty hammed, and decide the girls were not up to par. Go to the next bar and continue drinking, when all of a sudden this big ass dude taps me on the shoulder and says “Hey I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t dance with my sister,” who ended up being hot so of course I abided.
This girl tells me she is 24 and has 2 kids, hoping it won’t ruin it for me. I don’t care, and her brother drags us into a cab and tells me “we’re getting a hotel room”. We get in the cab and I start hookin’ up with her in the backseat and we get to the next bar where her brother meets up with a bunch of his MARINE buddies. I got scared at first cause he was a marine, but they were chill. The marine brother proceeds to meet some BOMB ass milf in her early 30’s and starts hookin’ up with her, and tells me we’re all going to their house.
We drive over to the house, and what do ya know, its 5 houses down from mine!!! Perfect! We start raging face, getting fucked up and shit, and it turns out the milf the marine brother was with is 45!! I was like, “You are too hot, rage too hard, and have way too nice of tits to be 45!” Anyways, her friend and some dude start bonin’ in the kitchen, and the marine carries this milf upstairs. I proceed to hook up with his sister, the 24 year old mom. She goes and asks her marine brother for a condom, and he gives us two.
After a long night of accomplishing my mission I wake up to her brother giving me a high five hand shake and slips me another condom. Of course I did the deed, and walked home 5 houses down. HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ME! HELLA RECKLESS!