Slutty Jack Daniels Thieves!

VRTU Clothing Co.“Last night we brought home some girls from the bar. After some convincing (not very much, to be honest), one of them ended up letting us put my buddy’s clothing company stickers on her nipples! We raged, and when they left they ended up stealing our Jack Daniels bottle. These bitches were Hella Reckless!”

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Drunken Tazer Fight

“So last weekend some buddies and I get drunk at this girl’s house. When I say drunk, I mean straight up piss drunk hammered. Some guy we know brings over a personal tazer that you can buy to defend yourself with. I’m not sure how many watts or the voltage the thing is, but when you touch somebody with it they cannot move and it hurts like a bitch!

Anyways we end up having a drunken tazer war, which resulted in everyone getting tazered around 5 times and in two cases up to 12 times! At one point, this guy was waving the tazer around like a sword and chasing innocent people around the house like Charles Manson or some shit. I ended up getting tazered 5 times, but the worst one I saw was my friend was passed out on his face sleeping (a VERY BAD idea when there’s a tazer in the house being held by someone blacked out). Our friend puts the tazer in between the passed out guy’s ass cheeks and turns it on… The sleeping guy proceeds to jump up from lying down to his feet in one motion, I swear, it was the fastest I had ever seen someone stand up in my life!! He got tazered IN the asshole, literally.

This asshole-tazer incident resulted in a wrestle match, where the two people fighting would each grab the tazer out of each other’s hands and tazer the other in some horrible place including the kidneys and the cock. This wrestling match is pictured in the photo above.

Getting blacked out hammered and having a tazer war? HELLA RECKLESS”

Traumatizing an Old Lady

“So me and my buddy are coming out of a Motley Crue concert totally shitfaced. We’re stumbling around the streets, and I’m laughing as he’s calling the chick he wants to nail. We somehow end up in a parking lot just totally lost. What seemed 20 minutes later (turned out to be about 2 hours) I turn to my friend and ask him “Where the fuck are we?”, and he has no clue. Now coming down, we stumble back to where the concert was and get a little more to drink. At this point, I feel like shit. After finally finding the train station we need to go to, I feel like I’m dying. When we get on the train, my friend is just laughing and i’m sitting there, serious as fuck. This little old grandma and some old guy than decide to sit across from the drunk asshole. Big mistake. I then threw up over the floor, right in front of the grandma. She has a look of horror on her face, and I feel even worse. My buddy than laughs his ass off and everyone stares. The worst part? I had a test the next day. Hella Reckless. “

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