Drunk?

“woke up from a blackout mess at 10am. go to champagne brunch and bail to the Riley’s cause the wait is too long. get hammered from 11-2 and getting belligerent in 5 and eye. then hop in a car for the three hour drive to sf. stop at in n out on the way down and run over to applebees instead for shots at the bar. make it to sf and get a bottle and tall boys and kill them in 20 minutes in the hotel room. go to irish pub playing electro music and almost get kicked out of the line for picking fights. calling every girl fat and ugly to their face in the bar, reblacking out.

rest of the night pretty hazy and just snapshots but possibly kicked out of club? talking shit to everyone on the street. accidentally stumbled into stripclub thinking it was a normal club and start buying dances. obviously drinking if they had a bar there but dont remember. almost get kicked out of strip club for filming with camera and groping strippers? leave strip club at 5 in the morning (who knew that it would be open that late) and stumble back to hotel with no help from people on the street. running from and taking pictures of homeless people. jumping on cars. take more shots at hotel? dip towels in toilet and place on passed out friends face. get a noise warning at 6 in the morning and get told that we had two more warnings. wake up shitfaced and start drinking again for lunch. hella reckless chico style”

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Slutty Jack Daniels Thieves!

VRTU Clothing Co.“Last night we brought home some girls from the bar. After some convincing (not very much, to be honest), one of them ended up letting us put my buddy’s clothing company stickers on her nipples! We raged, and when they left they ended up stealing our Jack Daniels bottle. These bitches were Hella Reckless!”

Drunken Tazer Fight

“So last weekend some buddies and I get drunk at this girl’s house. When I say drunk, I mean straight up piss drunk hammered. Some guy we know brings over a personal tazer that you can buy to defend yourself with. I’m not sure how many watts or the voltage the thing is, but when you touch somebody with it they cannot move and it hurts like a bitch!

Anyways we end up having a drunken tazer war, which resulted in everyone getting tazered around 5 times and in two cases up to 12 times! At one point, this guy was waving the tazer around like a sword and chasing innocent people around the house like Charles Manson or some shit. I ended up getting tazered 5 times, but the worst one I saw was my friend was passed out on his face sleeping (a VERY BAD idea when there’s a tazer in the house being held by someone blacked out). Our friend puts the tazer in between the passed out guy’s ass cheeks and turns it on… The sleeping guy proceeds to jump up from lying down to his feet in one motion, I swear, it was the fastest I had ever seen someone stand up in my life!! He got tazered IN the asshole, literally.

This asshole-tazer incident resulted in a wrestle match, where the two people fighting would each grab the tazer out of each other’s hands and tazer the other in some horrible place including the kidneys and the cock. This wrestling match is pictured in the photo above.

Getting blacked out hammered and having a tazer war? HELLA RECKLESS”

Traumatizing an Old Lady

“So me and my buddy are coming out of a Motley Crue concert totally shitfaced. We’re stumbling around the streets, and I’m laughing as he’s calling the chick he wants to nail. We somehow end up in a parking lot just totally lost. What seemed 20 minutes later (turned out to be about 2 hours) I turn to my friend and ask him “Where the fuck are we?”, and he has no clue. Now coming down, we stumble back to where the concert was and get a little more to drink. At this point, I feel like shit. After finally finding the train station we need to go to, I feel like I’m dying. When we get on the train, my friend is just laughing and i’m sitting there, serious as fuck. This little old grandma and some old guy than decide to sit across from the drunk asshole. Big mistake. I then threw up over the floor, right in front of the grandma. She has a look of horror on her face, and I feel even worse. My buddy than laughs his ass off and everyone stares. The worst part? I had a test the next day. Hella Reckless. “

Walk to Class, Chico State Style

“So hungover friday morning I puked on campus. Again. Except this time I didn’t exactly make it to a bathroom. Hella Reckless… Hella Embarrassing!”

Two Bags of Wine and a Hell of a Night

“Blacked out Thursday night by drinking a bag of red wine and another bag of white wine, between 5 people. Couldn’t find the house we were staying at and passed out in the car at 5am (the house ended up only being a few blocks away…) Woke up at 10am with my two buddies in the car feeling like absolute shit, and we notice a parking ticket on the windshield. We got a parking ticket that morning at the time said it was given to us at 7:56am, which was while me and my two buddies were straight piss drunk passed out with hot cheetos everywhere. Hella Reckless; Hella Awkward.”

Best Buds

“Got shitty drunk off of whole bottles whiskey and vodka and punched a good friend in the face knocking his tooth out.  Yeah, he has a gun and I am lucky he didn’t have it at the time. Hella Reckless”

“We Proceeded to Ghost Ride the Car Through the Backyard”

“Started drinking at 4pm. We bought three 30 racks for 10 people, which seemed like the right number to start. We went to sushi and the table shared 4 large bottles of Sake (The bill was almost $300)! I left a $50 tip not knowing that one guy who was blacked out already left a $100 tip. I ended up running out of the Sushi restaurant with a stolen bottle of Sake.

We then  proceeded to ghost ride the car through the backyard into the front yard, while a kid on crutches knocked over the trash can and proceeded to pass out in the living room (shoes on of course, big mistake). Another guy passes out on a couch and we covered him in shaving cream and set off fireworks next to him in beer cans. Continued to play drinking games till 2am then I made a nest of towels in a bathtub to sleep in. Woke up and made breakfast burritos for everyone. Hella Reckless!

Oh Yeah, forgot to add that I was challenged to a wrestling match and pinned the guy three times! Guy getting owned by me (female) 3 times, Hella Reckless!”

“We were harassing Dialon, the Indian cab driver asking him if we could rob a gas station and he’d be the getaway car.”

“Last night we wanted to have the best New Years ever. Our plan: get drunk and fuck chicks.

We started off with 2 thirty packs and an 18 pack for probably about 8 to 9 brosifs. We play chandeliers until we destroy all of it, then we call the cab to hit the bars. On the cab ride over we were harassing Dialon, the Indian cab driver asking him if we could rob a gas station and he be the getaway car driver. He refused so we continued to the bars.

Start drinking Irish car bombs, get pretty hammed, and decide the girls were not up to par. Go to the next bar and continue drinking, when all of a sudden this big ass dude taps me on the shoulder and says “Hey I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t dance with my sister,” who ended up being hot so of course I abided.

This girl tells me she is 24 and has 2 kids, hoping it won’t ruin it for me. I don’t care, and her brother drags us into a cab and tells me “we’re getting a hotel room”. We get in the cab and I start hookin’ up with her in the backseat and we get to the next bar where her brother meets up with a bunch of his MARINE buddies. I got scared at first cause he was a marine, but they were chill. The marine brother proceeds to meet some BOMB ass milf in her early 30’s and starts hookin’ up with her, and tells me we’re all going to their house.

We drive over to the house, and what do ya know, its 5 houses down from mine!!! Perfect! We start raging face, getting fucked up and shit, and it turns out the milf the marine brother was with is 45!! I was like, “You are too hot, rage too hard, and have way too nice of tits to be 45!” Anyways, her friend and some dude start bonin’ in the kitchen, and the marine carries this milf upstairs. I proceed to hook up with his sister, the 24 year old mom. She goes and asks her marine brother for a condom, and he gives us two.

After a long night of accomplishing my mission I wake up to her brother giving me a high five hand shake and slips me another condom. Of course I did the deed, and walked home 5 houses down. HAPPY NEW YEARS TO ME! HELLA RECKLESS!

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